Monday, December 23, 2013
I started prepping for revisions earlier this month. Originally I had just planned on making notes in each chapter for what I wanted to change, etc, but eventually I slipped into outlining. An enjoyable process, until I hit Chapter 4 and came to a somewhat awful realization: The rest of the book has to be scrapped.
Okay, maybe not all of it. I could salvage a few scenes from it, but the rest of the story-line from Chapter 4 on changes completely. I have to rewrite it all. This both terrifies and excites me for the obvious reasons. I mean, hey somewhat new story to write with these awesome characters, but.....omg. THINGS. I can't even explain my feelings right now. Just THINGS OMG.
Anyways, I'm starting revisions/rewrites in January with the goal of 1 chapter per day. I'm hoping this will get me half way or most of the way through the book. Then I'll finish up that draft in February and let it simmer while I distract myself with prepping for Camp NaNo.
And now I must go, because ooh Twitter so shinyyyy.
I may have a problem come January. xD
Thursday, December 5, 2013
-Goals (will be updated as Camp gets closer)-
-Write 50k in 8 days or less. (This NaNo '13 I did it in 9 days, and I'd love to be able to say that I did it in a week. xD)
-Have a six digit number at the end. I'm not sure what it'll be yet, but I want to go over what I got this NaNo. (154,212 words) I think it'd be cool if I could get a minimum 200k, but we'll see. ;3
-Pull off a (three day) 25k weekend. I've pulled off 10k days before, just not in a row! And even though 8k days aren't that hard anymore, doing a 25k weekend will prove interesting.
-Complete two novels
Now something for y'all. In the comments, I want y'all to give me some utterly ridiculous OA (overachiever) goals for Camp NaNo '14, just to spark some creativity and bring out my competitive side. And if you want to have a NaNoWager with me (*cough cough Jason Cantrell ;)*), I'm open to any challenges!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Okay, not illegal drugs. Cough and congestion meds, because I am sick, and being doped up on this stuff helps my mind to relax and just write. Also caffeine because OMGZ THIS STUFF IS FLOWING THROUGH ME I'M ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD LET'S WRITE ALL THE THINGS.
I started getting into writing poetry last year, and as usual, I sucked. Reading back on my first poems (and even some stuff I wrote back 4 or 5 months ago) makes me cringe and want to run away.
But not all my poetry is bad, and this is something I need to understand. I've seen bits and pieces of my poetry that looks like it has promise. Sure some lines are going to need tweaking, but for the most part, the poem captured what I wanted to say.
Back near the end of August, I started submitting poetry. Of course, despite my minor edits, they still sucked. (Reading back on them now causes me no end of embarrassment.) And as usual, they got rejected. All three of them. But now that I've written more poetry and read some more, I understand what was fundamentally wrong with those poems and why they were rejected. Yet it's still hard not to become the slightest bit discouraged, y'know?
I don't plan on submitting anything again for a long time. During this lovely December, I'll be focusing on poetry more. God only knows what weird stuff I'll get out, but I can't edit a blank page. I have to write something, no matter how awful it is. Because it can be fixed. The first draft is for making a mess, revision is for making that mess something pretty.
But lately as I've sat down with my poetry notebook, I've found it hard to write a complete poem. I usually write out a couple of paragraphs before I stop completely, because my inner editor points out what is wrong and how much it sucks. Then I usually lose the energy to write any more on it, and I turn the page and try again. Rinse and repeat.
This has led to my free-writings some stuff. Not poetry, mind you, but prose-ish stuff. It's actually really fun, and most of the time I end up completing these pieces.
I never thought I'd have such trouble with my inner editor. I can write stories without it piping up too much (usually because I'm writing a story during NaNo), but when I start writing poetry, my IE is practically screaming at me. It's a strange and frightening experience.
So hopefully during these next few weeks, I can manage to make Her shut up for a while. I don't know how long I'll have an excuse to be doping myself up with these meds, seeing as I got sick on Sunday and am feeling a bit better now (but my cough/congestion is still here, just not as fierce). Either way, I'm going to keep going. I have to keep going, because I want to be a published poet one day. I can't edit a blank page.
Now to find a place to stash some more caffeine at....
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
So November's over. I clocked in at 154,212 words, which is pretty darn awesome considering I've never gotten a six figure number during NaNo before. Or during any month for that matter.
But that's not the most exciting part (*gasp*), you know that NaNoWager I had going with Jason? I won, and I won good. xD So he followed through with his end of the deal and made a dance video, but exceeded my expectations and did it for longer than 90 seconds (the original agreement). You can find links to this wonderful video on his blog, Twitter, etc. Watch it, please. You will not regret it. ;)
That video will never cease to be a source of gut-busting laughter for moi. xD I'm so evil...
Anyways, post-NaNo life (omgz there's LIFE after NaNo??? O_O). Right now I'm sick (bleh, but hey at least it wasn't DURING NaNo), preparing for two dance performances next week, and preparing for JanNoWriMo. Oh, and writing poetry here and there. I'm trying to accomplish lots and lots of things without driving myself crazier than usual. The bad kind of crazy, not the good kind. I have fully embraced the latter. xD
So what's your post-NaNo life like?
Monday, November 25, 2013
The last week of NaNoWriMo and what's going on in December for me (it's 4 AM so obviously this isn't going to be the most cohesive post)
Ok, I lied. I actually am worried a little bit. This year we're going to a relative's house for Thanksgiving. I'm totally bringing my laptop and notebook with me, but socializing with the relatives is going to take a huge chunk of my writing time away. But I've planned to do a LOT of writing on Tuesday to give myself a bit of a buffer.
So there's that. If you want to keep updated on our NaNoWager, visit our Twitters, because we're constantly sassing each other/borderline trash-talking each other about it. I love it. xD
Part of me is sad that NaNoWriMo is coming to an end. November is just full of crazy awesomeness and I've gotten so many words written. I know that after November is over, this energy will fade. No more crazy word wars, etc. I mean, sure I could do some "off-NaNo season" word warring, but it just feels 10 times more awesome doing it in November.
With that being said, I'm actually sort of glad November is coming to a close. I've got a dance performance next month, and while it is a small one (right here in town), I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. It's been so long since I've been up on a stage and dancing. ;3
I have dress rehearsal on the 9th, then I'm performing on the 10th and possibly the 13th. I'm in two routines, but there are no costume or shoe changes, so that makes things a bit easier. I'm super excited, needless to say, but I know that the rest of the girls (even myself) are feeling a bit of pressure. We're the competition team, and while this Christmas performance isn't part of a dance competition, our teachers exert a lot of pressure on us during the year. I don't mind it, per se, because with that pressure they're making us become better and better. But it's hard sometimes to be lectured, especially by Ms. T. (eek!). While she's not the head teacher, she can be pretty scary. (Yet she's a wonderful teacher and is actually a really funny person most of the time. She does tease us about how one day we'll thank her for all the stuff she's put us through in technique class and stuff. And I am thankful, believe me. No pain, no gain, eh?)
Right now we have two more in-studio practices. Today and next week. Then it's dress rehearsal. Two freaking weeks. Wow. O_O
Anyways, that's what is going on for me. Sorry if I'm rambling at certain parts, or scatterbrained. It's 4 in the morning and I told myself I should have gone to sleep a few hours ago because I have dance class in the afternoon.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
A ranty, stream-of-consciousness post about bullying, body Image, detoxing, and the crappy people who screwed with a certain friend's self-perception
I met my best friend when I was 11/12 years old. Funny girl. Love her smile and everything about her. Plus we're both nerds so we clicked, as you might say.
I started attending her church;s youth group not soon after I met her. Lovely group, for the most part. Until the time came that a particular girl wanted to be friends with me.
Now nothing was wrong with the idea of that at first, but this girl had bullied my best friend and had been for a while. Still, for some darn freaking stupid reason, I became friends with the bully. (I'm not sure if I understood/knew the entire backstory of the bullying situation, but still, can someone go back and slap 12 year old me?)
Things were okay, at first. Then things started to get a bit heated. The bully became overly controlling and did her utmost to break the friendship my bff and I had. It didn't work, and the bully started to bully me.
I'm not sure how long she bullied me. I know it was at least for a few months. I could handle it at first, sort of, then one day I just broke down because I was sick of all the nasty text messages I'd been sent.
But everyone that knew about the situation was on my side, except for the bully's mother (who was a...shall we say....very defensive woman). And eventually, the situation became resolved and the bully was no longer in my life.
My best friend was affected more deeply than this situation than perhaps I ever was. Yes my 12 year old self was traumatized by the whole ordeal, but I know that my best friend endured the bully's harassment/etc for much longer than I did. I think that's what may have partially made her the way she is today.
Fast forward 3 years to the future. My best friend is no longer attending the youth group, mostly because her family decided to go to a different church, but because the youth group over the past 2 years have formed into cliques. Which means that 99 percent of them practically ignored my best friend and I, the nerds. Sure I'm a dancer and some of the dancers were attending, but they seemed content in their own group.
Ok, maybe that wouldn't be so bad if that was the only thing that was happening. But when the church had movie night and we were all down in the dining hall, my best friend and I have always been sitting alone on those nights we go. I mean, a girl did try to sit with us once before someone else had her leave for God only knows why. :P But their ostracizing us hurt, really really bad. And it affected my best friend to the point where she is worried about people not liking her, and she claims that she has a hard time making friends.
Yes we're homeschooled. Yes we're the slightest bit different being nerds and all. But that doesn't freaking mean that we should be ignored by others. If anything, church/youth group is a place where people should be coming together and having fellowship everyone. There was diversity in the youth group and it needs to be accepted.
(On a side note, we're not the only people that have been ostracized by the youth group. At least 3 others have felt the same.)
Anyways, I learned last night that my bff has a crappy view of her body image, appearance, and overall self-worth. And I got really, really emotional. She doesn't talk about this stuff to most people (I'm one the few she will actually talk to on occasion about personal stuff), and I'm shocked to learn that she, of all people, had such views about her body. She says that she "doesn't fit society's image of beautiful" and that she's always been "bigger and taller than other girls".
I'm not lying when I say that I truly do think she's pretty. Yeah she's like 5'8 and I can totally understand where she's coming from with feeling slightly uncomfortable with her height (I'm 5'6 and when I was 13 I was as tall as most 16 year olds I knew). But her body? Really? She's not even fat. She's only got the slightest bit more weight to her than I do. The slightest bit.
I'm not sure if I just misunderstood her a bit last night, because she very well could have been referring to her height at the same time. But for heaven's sake if she is talking about her weight (she's always been so encouraging and body-positive to other people), she's not fat. I've known her for 3 years and not once have I thought of her as fat. And the other people she's around? I don't think she's really ever weighed more than they.
Ugh, I've just found this incredibly frustrating and saddening. She's one of the people in my life that I look up to, and I can't believe she's felt this way. I don't know what to do to help her without coming off as pushy and overdoing it. I sent her a FB message before I went to bed last night, and she messaged me back and said that it was really encouraging, etc etc. But I truly hate that she feels this way about herself. She doesn't really expose herself to all that much secular media when it comes to stuff about weight and beauty.
And now she's of the opinion that she eats too much and is detoxing. (Cutting out carbs and sugars for a while.) She's been doing well so far, and while she seems to have more energy for it (either that or the fangirling over LOTR, Loki, the new Doctor Who episode, etc have just given her a lot of excitement), I'm worried for her. She told me what she had yesterday for breakfast and lunch. She's not skimping on food, but she says she hasn't decided for how long she'll be on this detoxing thing (although she'll "most likely still be on it when Thanksgiving rolls around"). I just don't want this to escalate into something dangerous.
Anyways, I needed to get that out. Posting it on my Twitter feed just wasn't relieving the stress I needed it to.
Thanks to those who read, and if you're a Christian, please pray for my friend. I love her to pieces and I want her to be happy.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Last night I was reading a thing about chore-based betting, and I've always loved that idea. During one of my 2012 NaNos, I did that with my sister. If I didn't reach a certain word count, I'd have to do something for her and/or give her something. Needless to say, I made that 50k. xD
This NaNo, I thought "Hey, to help motivate me for my insane word count goal for 250k, why not do it again?"
My sister always tires of hearing me talk about NaNoWriMo, but this time she was more than happy to have me talk about it a bit. She wrote out a list of things like she did last year, and honestly, I was getting a bit frightened. Well, frightened is actually an understatement. I was scared! xD She's been begging me for the top bunk of our beds and my Doctor Who "Keep Calm and Don't Blink" t-shirt for the longest time. Needless to say, she wrote those into the list.
Here's the list:
If I don't reach-
30,000 words: Do whatever she says for the entire day
50,000 words: Give her 10 dollars
70,000 words: Do her hip-hop routine with her as many times as she wants.
100,000 words: Do her jobs (chores) for the day.
150,000 words: Do her jobs for a week.
200,000 words: Give her my top bunk.
250,000 words: Give her my "Don't Blink t-shirt
Yeah, this is a huge motivator. I don't doubt my ability to write those words, I doubt my ability to have enough projects to last that long! So far I have one novel (edit: two novels, actually), two novellas, and a bunch of fanfic that I'm going to write.
She also told me (with a very, very devious look on her face) that she has a "bunch of distractions planned".
Oh Baty help me.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Here's a list of my exercise goals for November:
- 50 crunches a day
- 40 "calf stretches", which is basically me going up on releve until my calves burn so much I can hardly stand it.
- Taking a walk 3 times a week. I've already tried to get into this, and I walk on a regular basis, but I want to create an absolute minimum for myself.
- 10 sit-ups
Saturday, October 26, 2013
See, said best friend has had a crush on this (very cute) guy for over 5 years now. Unfortunately, they never even became friends, because it seemed like he ignored her most of the time. And he sorta kinda did, but sometimes I think that he was just too self-absorbed to notice her sometimes. That or he was ignoring her because he liked her (which I strongly suspect. Who wouldn't have a crush on said best friend who happens to be insanely cute?!).
Anyways, I've written a scene with them before, and it's adorable and gives me so many fluffy feelings/omg-they're-so-cute kind of feels. But I really want to write a full-blown story with them as the MCs with all the adorable, cute flirting and stuff.
I'm grinning so hard right now. I know she's going to kill me when she finds out I've written a story like this. xD But that's the fun of it!
Friday, October 25, 2013
It's a cool challenge, IMO, and I'd love to undertake it. But!!! I'm still not allowed to have my computer in my bedroom, being on my computer (writing) for 12 hours would certainly give Mom enough reason to take it away (lol ;P), and it takes me less than 30 minutes on average to reach 1k words.
So I propose a slightly more challenging....challenge. Write 2,500 hours an hour for 3 hours straight. If I don't make the desired WC at the end of the hour, I have to do something unpleasant. I actually like exercising somewhat, so I think standing outside in summer-time-definitely-not-fall/winter-season-appropriate-clothing might work?? If y'all have any suggestions (save for me streaking. Please, it's just too cold.), leave 'em in the comments section.
I don't know what day I'm doing this on yet. It'll probably be on a Saturday, seeing that my siblings (and Mom, for that matter) probably won't let me get away with spending hours on my computer on any other day.
Anyways, BED DAY! I'm actually excited about this. I think this challenge will definitely get my arse into gear.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
It's frustrating. I think that I'm slightly inhibited by my fear that I'll write another insanely crappy poem, and that I'll never be better. Having gotten 3 rejection slips a month or two ago, it's hard. I know why those poems got rejected (I suck at constructing metaphors.), and I know that work on my writings and be a better poet. But it's just so freaking hard.
Tomorrow I'll be making another attempt. Here's to hoping that I can write a few decent lines.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I didn't know when exactly it'd arrive. It knew it'd take a few weeks, but I really really did not want my parents coming across it. I think that before the sticker arrived, they sorta kind of knew my opinion on marriage equality (pro), but it's not a discussion I want to get into with them. I've already heard their opinions on it (against) and....well...it's just not something I care to discuss with them.
I've been thinking about the sticker lately, but I didn't expect it to arrive today. I was lying on my mom's bed when she came in and handed me an envelope from none other than the HRC. I don't know if she realized what it was at first, but she wanted to see what was in it. Crap. She opened it and handed it to me. I took the sticker out and read the little slip of paper. She mentioned the sticker, something about it meaning equal, and what it was for. I said marriage equality, probably not in my best voice, and she read the slip of paper.
Anyways, that was awkward, for me at least. I don't know what she thinks about it. I really don't want to talk to her about it. Marriage equality just isn't a subject I want to talk about with them.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Somehow I coerced my brain into thinking that doing a 50kKillMeNow challenge was a perfectly good idea. I plan on doing it on a Friday. Thankfully Mom has no work on that day, so I think it'll be a little bit easier to coerce her into letting me stay up late that first night.
But on the "off-chance" that I don't make that 50k day, I plan on shooting for it over the weekend. Of course, there's a slightly better chance that I could actually reach such a word count on those days. It's just a matter of making my siblings leave me the heck alone! ;P
Yeah, this should be interesting. xD
Here's a list of all the NaNoWriMo challenges I'm undertaking:
-50kKillMeNow on Nov. 1
-Writing anywhere from 200k to 300k words that month
-Writing 8-10k every day
So, my fellow NaNo'ers, whether you happen to be overachieving or not, what are your NaNoWriMo goals?
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Lately I've been walking more for endurance and stuff. I know there's not a cure yet for asthma, but I figured why not try to get my lungs in the best shape I can despite the asthma. And I'll confess that, at first, the walks were tiring. Sometimes I did have to take a puff or two of my inhaler afterwards.
But lately, I've been coming home feeling better. Not so out of breath or tired. A good sign! This is quite encouraging.
I'm not sure how I *got* the asthma. I was heavily vaccinated as a child (no longer, thank goodness) and I have had a variety of allergy, asthma, and hormone issues. Jessica had bad health issues as a young child, but the only thing she has to deal with now is severe nosebleeds (which she hasn't had in a while). TJ and Gracie weren't vaccinated, and they're very healthy.....I don't really want to get into the vaccine argument, so I'll stop there. xD
Anyways, I'm determined to not let asthma stop me. I've danced for nearly 8 years and have been successful with it (aka not collapsing from being out of breath xD). I hope that in my lifetime, someone will find a cure from asthma, but until then I'm going to strive towards getting my lungs in better shape.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
so that I can do a bit of prep for them.
Anyways, we went out to a pond today to let the younger siblings feed the geese. I brought my notebook along and did brainstorm-y stuff for Do Unto Others. It was nice to brainstorm somewhere else besides the house. xD
How you do prepare, or are you a pantser?
Thursday, September 26, 2013
My laptop gave out on me Sunday or Monday. It kept freezing during boot-up, even when attempting to boot up in Safe Mode. Today, I let it attempt to boot up today and left it alone for a couple of hours. Imagine my surprise when I came back and the welcome screen was pulled up!!
*hopes that talking about that won't jinx anything*
Anyways, I wanted to talk about NaNoWriMo. It's 34 more days!! And as usual, I haven't decided on which projects I'll be doing. xD (I'm lacking in story ideas that I like.)
Oh yes, I said projects. For NaNo, I decided to do 10k a day. It didn't dawn on me until a few minutes after my crazy decision that it means I'll be writing 300k that month.
The most I've ever written in a month is 85k. I've never considered shooting for such a high goal.
God only knows if I'll make it or not. I'd be happy if I reach 100k and over. xD
*cheers to my ambitious self*
*slams head into wall and cries because INSANITY*
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Anyways, I didn't get any writing done yesterday. There was just too much to do (and I got 6 or 6 & a half hours sleep) and yeah, stupidly tired. I'm not sure how much I'll get done today, because of THINGS. But the effort's worth it.
Now I'm off....to wipe my bloody nose, because it's been bloody for a week at least and I just UGH
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
So...I've been sitting here for a while trying to figure out what to blog about. I think I'm just going to give y'all a super boring update on what I've been doing today.
I slept late, around 12:30 or 1 something. Ate some leftover Pop-tart, got Gracie some yogurt, and just relaxed for a few hours (also did some writing!). Then I cleaned the toilet, vacuumed the bedroom floor, and showered then took out some trash I didn't get to yesterday. Now all I have left is to clean the bathroom floor and wash the sink.
God this is boring I'm so sorry.
Today I just want to relax, get done what I need to get done, and enjoy myself.
Friday, September 6, 2013
I have a feeling my stress levels are higher than usual not only because of the strenuous babysitting, but because of my new medication (which is directly connected to my hormones). That may be offsetting me a bit, but I've been taking them for almost three weeks. *sighs* That and my flare-ups are happening more often.
Ugh, I'm rambling now and I'm not sure if this post made any sense, but thanks for reading. ;P
Thursday, September 5, 2013
But I have good reasons. I don't feel like anyone really reads this thing. I miss Tumblr, with its constant feed and quick responses, etc. It's hard to blog under this thing. :/
I won't abandon this blog, not yet. I'm really trying to
Monday, September 2, 2013
Right now I'm working on fanfiction. I tried outlining some of POTM in August and lost the excitement to work on it anymore, so for now, my September will revolve around...fanfiction.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
I hate this. I got triggered, and went to cry alone. But with no one to talk to about it/calm me down. This is what I needed Tumblr for, and now I don't have that. I feel like if I contacted an old Tumblr friend for support, that I would be a burden or an annoyance.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Yet after reading through some of the threads on this particular board, I'm also being hit with new plot bunnies. And I'm not entirely adverse to working on one of them instead of my original project either. ;P
Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
I'm really missing the easiness of blogging through Tumblr. Sure, the Blogger app isn't that bad, but I can't view my blog under 3G because of the Alltel Global Filter. *headdesk*
But hey, I'll just have to get used to it. I think I've backed up all my writings I've posted through there, but I'm going to double-check before I delete it.
Heck, I don't even know if I'll have time to delete it. Not today, at least. I'm gonna be super tired when I get home. ;P
Saturday, August 24, 2013
I have had an amazing day. I went to my best friend's birthday party/lunch, then we went and walked around Wal-mart while her mom went to pick up a few things. The only remotely bad thing that happened was that I tried a vanilla coke and ended up making myself sick (getting pre-migraine stuff like slightly blurry vision). Thankfully it died down within 30-45 minutes of me resting and wearing sunglasses. (Also the hot shower helped. :3)
I have a feeling that I'll be getting back to writing in a couple days. While I have a little more story prep to do, I really miss writing via my laptop.....
Friday, August 23, 2013
Though I need to stop saying that I miss Tumblr before Mom gets onto me....
Well perhaps blogging about my morning so far would do good.
I slept in a bed with Gracie. She may be small and three years old, but the child's a bed hogger. My left side was sore for a little bit after that. ;P I got up a few minutes after eleven. Had some crazy dreams, I think, but of course I wouldn't remember them.
Ugh...I can't do this. This just....isn't me. Maybe I can get back into the blogging groove later....when I get some good ideas on what to post about. :P
Thursday, August 22, 2013
-The secrecy. I was dishonest about having a Facebook account under my pen name. Of course, with my parents being conservative Christian, I felt the need to because I know their stance on marriage equality. (I was going to publish a gay Christian romance novel under it.)
-The homosexual and pornographic content of Tumblr. Ugh, that's a long story. I know my mom will be reading this so maybe you can explain for me, Mom?
-I had written a porographic fanfic.
-I was working on a gay Christian romance novel.
I feel like I'm forgetting a reason.....
Anyways, they have decided that I can keep everything except Tumblr, and maybe Instagram, but I was thinking of getting rid of Instagram anyways. I understand some of why I was punished, and semi-why I'm not being allowed to keep my Tumblr. But I saw the comments on the last Tumblr post I made and felt the need to clear up a few things. ;P
I'm Kelley, the insane 15 year old with a NaNoWriMo obsession. I blogged under a Tumblr url for ten months before being discovered by my parents and being taken off (also I was grounded from the interwebz and my electronic devices were taken away). But that's for another blog post.
This blog will be for my NaNoWriMo progress and other fun things. As much as I want to be back on Tumblr, I don't have a choice and I'll just have to make do with Blogger. :/
Well, let's get blogging!